Funny Quotes: 140+ World’s Best Funny Quotes & Short Jokes


Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes: Share The Best World’s Top Funniest Funny Quotes and Short Jokes, With Beautiful Images,Text,Messages,Sayings,Status,Wishes we selaected carefully for you!

mirror on the wall … Why people care more about my life than me?

If Its My Fault I Put Who I Want

A toast to our defects. Because with our qualities anyone even care  – Funny Quotes

I Would Be A Vegetarian If Bacon Grew On Trees

Not enough to be poor. You have to lower the volume of the TV to hear when you fight in the neighbor  – “Funny Quotes”

It Is So Sleepy That Every Blink Is A Different Dream

Fabio Jr. sings soulmate music and has been divorced seven times. I’ll believe in love like – Funny Quotes

I Need To Find Some Way To Make Money With My Laziness

If he loves cares, many people must love me. Because what have people taking care of my life, no joke!

Read More : Funny Birthday Wishes

I Hate Speaking S Coming When Not Even Left Home

In the sentence: I love Monday, the guy is crazy, retired, ours’re on vacation – Funny Quotes

If The Person Does Not Like Me It Is Obvious That She Has Bad Taste

Spend the day without irritating some friends gives the feeling that the day is not complete – Funny Quotes

If Love Is In The Air I Must Have A Respiratory Problem

If you knock on wood away the bad luck, I’m needing to deforest the Amazon at the base of the fight  – Funny Quotes

Read Also : Happy Tuesday Quotes

If Boredom Is A Tendency Today I M In Fashion

Who lives in the past is the museum.
Who lives in the future is psychic.
Who lives this is Santa Claus! – Funny Quotes

If All That Is Good Bit Harsh I Should Have Died Long Ago

I think my cupid like math.
Just bring me problems.

His Face When The Teacher S Explaining New Material

Follow your dream.
Continue sleeping.

Read More: Sad Depression Quotes

He Called Friend But You Mark A Photo You Re Like The Devil

I like both of sleep that is the first thing I think about when I wake up – Funny Quotes

Follow Your Heart But Take Your Brain Together

The more things I have to do; the more time I spend on Facebook – Funny Quotes

Even My Cell Phone Battery Lasts Longer Than The Eternal Love Of Some People

I pretend to agree with annoying people only for them to shut up – Funny Quotes

Read More : Good Morning My Love

Cool Your Opinion Sorry I Did Not Call Her

I love gossip.
I learn things about me that even I knew – Funny Quotes

Better Days Will Come. They Are Called Saturdays Sundays And Holidays

You can have all the money in the world but there is something you can never buy: a dinosaur – Funny Quotes

You Have To Love People As If They Were Friday

i’m So needy that barbecue comes in and says Heart? and I answer: What is it, love!

Read More : Good Night Love Quotes

Wow What A Beautiful Your Picture Too Bad I Ve Seen You In Person

Why is Monday so far from Friday and Friday is close to Monday? – Funny Quotes

When A Woman Says Do What You Want She Meant Try To Do To See What Happens To You

The world would be better if before posting an indirect, one stop to analyze the indirect also serves to her – Funny Quotes

Weekend Go Very Slowly Okay

There is no greater disappointment to forget to shake the Toddy before drinking – Funny Quotes

Tripping In Public Is Just One Of My Seduction Techniques

If I had one real for every disappointment, I would be disappointed in Paris – Funny Quotes

The Weekend Should Take A Fine For Speedin

That moment when your brain league in automatic and you agree with everything that the person is talking about – Funny Quotes

The Biggest Lie I Tell Myself Only Five Minutes

– It’s Friday?
– Not yet. Hold on a little longer there … – Funny Quotes

Thank You Sir Friday At Last

If I had one real for every person who loves me …
I would have 1 Real, right mom? – Funny Quotes

Tell Me With Whom You Walk And I Ll Tell You Who Feel Jealous

Back with ex-boyfriend (a) it is like buying a car that was already his. It comes with the same defects, but more shot – Funny Quotes

Sometimes Error Only To Disguise My Perfection

Take me long to find you, now I want only you …
… weekend – Funny Quotes

Some People Are Like Clouds

Cai meteor falls internet. Just do not fall money to my account.
That moment when you speak the truth, but then gives a smile and no one believes you.

Only Happy Ending I Know Is The Weekend

I have so much desire to stay in bed, that in some past life I must have been a mattress.

Normal Look But Already Gave Goodbye To A Plane

Cat, you have to face my third girlfriend. And look that only had two! – Funny Quotes

Never Say That Has Nothing To Do Close To His Mother

My mother needs to understand that there is a difference between being disorganized and give the freedom to choose things where they want to stay – Funny Quotes

Men Would Lie Less If Women Do Less Questions

Irony is you being at work and send you to hell.

There are three ways of doing things: The right way, the wrong way and my way, which equals the wrong way, only faster

Then you start dating … People come to the Narnia wanting to be with you – Funny Quotes

World’s Funny Quotes and Short Jokes With Beautiful Images

Only regret the yogurt caps that played out without licking  – funny Short Jokes

Mobile today has all but battery – “funny Short Jokes”

If zombie is a living dead, then it is proof that someone dead may be living proof that there is life after death – funny Short Jokes

Sometimes the silence of the night
I’m calculating how many hours I have to sleep – funny Short Jokes

Envy of my parents. I will never have a child as cool as theirs – funny Short Jokes

While there will be mobile with internet insomnia – funny Short Jokes

Today I woke up ready for everything. The first thing I will do is sleep again – funny Short Jokes

You have indirect Facebook, the target does not realize it is him and still enjoys – funny Short Jokes

Love is not what comes when you twist that never end. The name of it is a holiday – funny Short Jokes

What the eyes do not see, – funny Short Jokes

That kind of woman speaking I will not argue with you after giving two hours of lecture – funny Short Jokes

Gone is the time when the union was strength. Today the Union charges taxes and who does the force is you – funny Short Jokes

If I had to beauty that I have to sleep … My God, how I would be beautiful!

Dear little body: treat as lettuce which give you the brigadier – funny Short Jokes

You finish reading the paragraph
There have to read again because he was traveling in another dimension – funny Short Jokes

Next weekend is the weekend again …!

I hate when I have prepared a whole speech and the person simply apologizes.

People who are happy before noon, is certainly sleeping.
Convert yourself and still send me to shut up – funny Short Jokes

Why Mario was the psychologist? Because he was going through a difficult phase! – funny Short Jokes

If the dog is man’s best friend, the cigar is wrapped the dog and the whiskey is bottled dog – funny Short Jokes

Girl has a little face in his makeup – funny Short Jokes

Cute Funny Quotes & Short Jokes About Friends

That moment you realize that even his friend uglier dating and you do not – Cute Funny Quotes

Friday, think of me I’m thinking of you – “Cute Funny Quotes”

One day I’ll wake up early and yelled for my alarm clock only for him to see what I spend every day – Cute Funny Quotes

There are three types of people, those who can count and those that do not.
Waking up early is to make sure that sleep is the best thing there is – Cute Funny Quotes

A kiss for you who waited so by Saturday and is sitting in front of the computer doing nothing – Cute Funny Quotes

Beach is equal scale. Whenever you step on it feels like to lose weight – Cute Funny Quotes

Friday … I never wanted you so much! – Cute Funny Quotes

How would you define men and women today? Women wanting everything to the day before yesterday, men wanting everything to the day after tomorrow – Cute Funny Quotes

The evil vulture is to think that the bull is dead! – Cute Funny Quotes

Behind a great man there is always a woman … tired, sad, upset and stressed – Cute Funny Quotes

I do not know if the test was too easy or if I said it wrong – Cute Funny Quotes

The woman was so ugly that even those who were blind passed her by pretending not to see – Cute Funny Quotes

This is not fly, is falling with style – Cute Funny Quotes

The fact that we call the Black Sabbath does not mean that we engage in black magic. Did the Rolling Stones are involved in avalanches?

Again, my life was saved by the miracle of lasagna – Cute Funny Quotes

No, I will not ask him to choose between sex and playing Halo 3. As far as I know, sex has not been updated to include graphics quality and improvements in weapons system.

If Saturday’ re so imagine Monday – Cute Funny Quotes

Worse than donkey kick only mother of pest – Cute Funny Quotes

If we do not have the key, we cannot give what we do not have that open, so what good would find what needs to be open, and we do not have, without first find the key to open it?

A perfect world … where you will only work or study after waking up naturally without an alarm clock.

Since I always end up eating chocolate on Valentine’s Day, someone could give me a boyfriend at Easter – Cute Funny Quotes

Between put up with a friend in love and hit the little finger on the corner, which mobile you choose? – Cute Funny Quotes

I envy dumb, because it is eternal – Cute Funny Quotes

Marriage is not heaven or hell – it’s just purgatory – Cute Funny Quotes

My belly is not set because who defines limited – Cute Funny Quotes

Do not let the world ends … yet no one ate – Cute Funny Quotes

My bank account is proof that the world should have ended in 2016 – Cute Funny Quotes

Hello! It seems that we are responsible for repopulating the land of unicorns. Pleasure, my name is John, and you? – Cute Funny Quotes

Only I have eyes for a woman … at a time of course – Cute Funny Quotes

It has love, but I prefer the holiday – Cute Funny Quotes

I do not give my wife … and not yours – Cute Funny Quotes

Unlike the slave pro intern is that the trainee still have to study – Cute Funny Quotes

I’m so nerdy that when I see Neymar kicking I think if he pressed the L2 + Square.

Never lend books, they will never return them. All the books I have in my library are books that other people have lent me – Cute Funny Quotes

Marriage is a prison inside out. In jail, the prisoner always has a greater chance of freedom over time and good behavior – Cute Funny Quotes

When a woman gets to choose dishcloth, you can smarten that marriage is already certain – Cute Funny Quotes

What is the last thing a drummer says in a band? – Hey, why not try one of my songs?

The main reason for Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
You have to be very cynical to celebrate golden wedding – Funny Quotes

There are those people who spread joy in the morning, and then there’s me that even to say “good morning” already have to be a sacrifice!

I miss you, but whenever you back very soon I’m counting the time left for new farewell!

The weekend has only one flaw: it does not last forever Funny Quotes and Short Jokes .

I swear I even woke up in a good mood, but then I remembered I had to go to work. Good Morning! – Cute Funny Quotes

Get out of bed count as exercise, I already do my part and with great sacrifice. Good Morning! – Cute Funny Quotes

The day came that causes general improvement in mood. Happy Friday and the second delay coming! – Cute Funny Quotes

There are friendships that we should maintain eternal, especially those in which the person already knows too much about our lives! – Cute Funny Quotes

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