Funny Quotes: 140+ World’s Best Funny Quotes & Short Jokes


Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes: Share The Best World’s Top Funniest Funny Quotes and Short Jokes, With Beautiful Images,Text,Messages,Sayings,Status,Wishes we selected carefully for you!

mirror on the wall … Why people care more about my life than me?

If Its My Fault I Put Who I Want

A toast to our defects. Because with our qualities anyone even care.

I Would Be A Vegetarian If Bacon Grew On Trees

Not enough to be poor. You have to lower the volume of the TV to hear when you fight in the neighbor.

It Is So Sleepy That Every Blink Is A Different Dream

Fabio Jr. sings soulmate music and has been divorced seven times. I’ll believe in love like

I Need To Find Some Way To Make Money With My Laziness

If he loves cares, many people must love me. Because what have people taking care of my life, no joke!

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I Hate Speaking S Coming When Not Even Left Home

In the sentence: I love Monday, the guy is crazy, retired, ours’re on vacation.

If The Person Does Not Like Me It Is Obvious That She Has Bad Taste

Spend the day without irritating some friends gives the feeling that the day is not complete.

If Love Is In The Air I Must Have A Respiratory Problem

If you knock on wood away the bad luck, I’m needing to deforest the Amazon at the base of the fight.

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If Boredom Is A Tendency Today I M In Fashion

Who lives in the past is the museum.
Who lives in the future is psychic.
Who lives this is Santa Claus!

If All That Is Good Bit Harsh I Should Have Died Long Ago

I think my cupid like math.
Just bring me problems.

His Face When The Teacher S Explaining New Material

Follow your dream.
Continue sleeping.

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He Called Friend But You Mark A Photo You Re Like The Devil

I like both of sleep that is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

Follow Your Heart But Take Your Brain Together

The more things I have to do; the more time I spend on Facebook.

Even My Cell Phone Battery Lasts Longer Than The Eternal Love Of Some People

I pretend to agree with annoying people only for them to shut up.

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Cool Your Opinion Sorry I Did Not Call Her

I love gossip.
I learn things about me that even I knew.

Better Days Will Come. They Are Called Saturdays Sundays And Holidays

You can have all the money in the world but there is something you can never buy: a dinosaur.

You Have To Love People As If They Were Friday

i’m So needy that barbecue comes in and says Heart? and I answer: What is it, love!

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Wow What A Beautiful Your Picture Too Bad I Ve Seen You In Person

Why is Monday so far from Friday and Friday is close to Monday?

When A Woman Says Do What You Want She Meant Try To Do To See What Happens To You

The world would be better if before posting an indirect, one stop to analyze the indirect also serves to her.

Weekend Go Very Slowly Okay

There is no greater disappointment to forget to shake the Toddy before drinking.

Tripping In Public Is Just One Of My Seduction Techniques

If I had one real for every disappointment, I would be disappointed in Paris.

The Weekend Should Take A Fine For Speedin

That moment when your brain league in automatic and you agree with everything that the person is talking about.

The Biggest Lie I Tell Myself Only Five Minutes

– It’s Friday?
– Not yet. Hold on a little longer there …

Thank You Sir Friday At Last

If I had one real for every person who loves me …
I would have 1 Real, right mom?

Tell Me With Whom You Walk And I Ll Tell You Who Feel Jealous

Back with ex-boyfriend (a) it is like buying a car that was already his. It comes with the same defects, but more shot.

Sometimes Error Only To Disguise My Perfection

Take me long to find you, now I want only you …
… weekend

Some People Are Like Clouds

Cai meteor falls internet. Just do not fall money to my account.
That moment when you speak the truth, but then gives a smile and no one believes you.

Only Happy Ending I Know Is The Weekend

I have so much desire to stay in bed, that in some past life I must have been a mattress.

Normal Look But Already Gave Goodbye To A Plane

Cat, you have to face my third girlfriend. And look that only had two!

Never Say That Has Nothing To Do Close To His Mother

My mother needs to understand that there is a difference between being disorganized and give the freedom to choose things where they want to stay.

Men Would Lie Less If Women Do Less Questions

Irony is you being at work and send you to hell.

There are three ways of doing things: The right way, the wrong way and my way, which equals the wrong way, only faster

Then you start dating … People come to the Narnia wanting to be with you.

World’s Funny Quotes and Short Jokes With Beautiful Images

Only regret the yogurt caps that played out without licking.

Mobile today has all but battery.

If zombie is a living dead, then it is proof that someone dead may be living proof that there is life after death.

Sometimes the silence of the night
I’m calculating how many hours I have to sleep.

Envy of my parents. I will never have a child as cool as theirs.

While there will be mobile with internet insomnia.

Today I woke up ready for everything. The first thing I will do is sleep again.

You have indirect Facebook, the target does not realize it is him and still enjoys.

Love is not what comes when you twist that never end. The name of it is a holiday.

What the eyes do not see,

That kind of woman speaking I will not argue with you after giving two hours of lecture

Gone is the time when the union was strength. Today the Union charges taxes and who does the force is you.

If I had to beauty that I have to sleep … My God, how I would be beautiful!

Dear little body: treat as lettuce which give you the brigadier.

You finish reading the paragraph.
There have to read again because he was traveling in another dimension.

Next weekend is the weekend again …!

I hate when I have prepared a whole speech and the person simply apologizes.

People who are happy before noon, is certainly sleeping.
Convert yourself and still send me to shut up.

Why Mario was the psychologist? Because he was going through a difficult phase!

If the dog is man’s best friend, the cigar is wrapped the dog and the whiskey is bottled dog.

Girl has a little face in his makeup.

Cute Funny Quotes & Short Jokes About Friends

That moment you realize that even his friend uglier dating and you do not.

Friday, think of me I’m thinking of you.

One day I’ll wake up early and yelled for my alarm clock only for him to see what I spend every day.

There are three types of people, those who can count and those that do not.
Waking up early is to make sure that sleep is the best thing there is.

A kiss for you who waited so by Saturday and is sitting in front of the computer doing nothing.

Beach is equal scale. Whenever you step on it feels like to lose weight.

Friday … I never wanted you so much!

How would you define men and women today? Women wanting everything to the day before yesterday, men wanting everything to the day after tomorrow.

The evil vulture is to think that the bull is dead!

Behind a great man there is always a woman … tired, sad, upset and stressed.

I do not know if the test was too easy or if I said it wrong.

The woman was so ugly that even those who were blind passed her by pretending not to see.

This is not fly, is falling with style.

The fact that we call the Black Sabbath does not mean that we engage in black magic. Did the Rolling Stones are involved in avalanches?

Again, my life was saved by the miracle of lasagna.

No, I will not ask him to choose between sex and playing Halo 3. As far as I know, sex has not been updated to include graphics quality and improvements in weapons system.

If Saturday’ re so imagine Monday – Funny Quotes

Worse than donkey kick only mother of pest.

If we do not have the key, we cannot give what we do not have that open, so what good would find what needs to be open, and we do not have, without first find the key to open it?

A perfect world … where you will only work or study after waking up naturally without an alarm clock.

Since I always end up eating chocolate on Valentine’s Day, someone could give me a boyfriend at Easter – Funny Quotes

Between put up with a friend in love and hit the little finger on the corner, which mobile you choose?

I envy dumb, because it is eternal.

Marriage is not heaven or hell – it’s just purgatory.

My belly is not set because who defines limited.

Do not let the world ends … yet no one ate – Funny Quotes

My bank account is proof that the world should have ended in 2016.

Hello! It seems that we are responsible for repopulating the land of unicorns. Pleasure, my name is John, and you?

Only I have eyes for a woman … at a time of course.

It has love, but I prefer the holiday – Funny Quotes

I do not give my wife … and not yours.

Unlike the slave pro intern is that the trainee still have to study.

I’m so nerdy that when I see Neymar kicking I think if he pressed the L2 + Square.

Never lend books, they will never return them. All the books I have in my library are books that other people have lent me – Funny Quotes

Marriage is a prison inside out. In jail, the prisoner always has a greater chance of freedom over time and good behavior.

When a woman gets to choose dishcloth, you can smarten that marriage is already certain.

What is the last thing a drummer says in a band? – Hey, why not try one of my songs?

The main reason for Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
You have to be very cynical to celebrate golden wedding – Funny Quotes

There are those people who spread joy in the morning, and then there’s me that even to say “good morning” already have to be a sacrifice!

I miss you, but whenever you back very soon I’m counting the time left for new farewell!

The weekend has only one flaw: it does not last forever Funny Quotes and Short Jokes .

I swear I even woke up in a good mood, but then I remembered I had to go to work. Good Morning!

Get out of bed count as exercise, I already do my part and with great sacrifice. Good Morning!

The day came that causes general improvement in mood. Happy Friday and the second delay coming!

There are friendships that we should maintain eternal, especially those in which the person already knows too much about our lives!

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